Are You Freakin' McKiddin' Me?! :
An Ohio woman punched through a McDonald's drive-thru window this weekend after she was informed that they had run out of chicken McNuggets. The woman was arrested and charged with being ridiculously American.
Heroin Shei-quita :
Police in Madrid uncovered nearly 25 kilos of heroine being shipped in boxes of bananas last week. They became suspicious when the bananas lost 15 pounds, locked themselves in their rooms, and began listening to Pantera.
Future Bongo Player Born :
Matthew McConaughey became a father yesterday to a baby girl. The baby, Vida, weighed in at 7 lbs and 7 oz, or as Matthew might better understand it, 72 dime bags.
Dubai, Dubai, Du :
The tallest man made structure ever built, a 2,700 foot, 160 story building, opened this morning in Dubai. The architect of the building is assumed to have a very small penis.
GIVES GREAT HEAD-LINES.
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