THE RELAUNCH

Well, it's been some time since I last blogged. May 18, 2008 to be exact. A lot has happened since that time. The American economy has nose dived to 'Great Depression' numbers, Captain Sullenberger avoided hitting my apartment with his plane (*Sully is a nickname for Sullivan and Sullivan only you Swiss fraud), and of course, how can I forget, the first African American was named head of the RNC. The current economic climate has left me with an awful lot of time on my hands, so I figured might as well relaunch the blog. The American people want to know my take on the issues, and goddamn it I'm going to give it to them.

In my free time I've been watching a lot of television and have come to notice one very unsettling reality. More and more prescription medications are advertising over the airwaves. Two decades ago this would've been unheard of, but today they try to come up with new and inventive advertising to sell their medications (which you can't get without the consent of a doctor... maybe the MDs are in on the conspiracy). My personal favorite is for Enzyte. The commercial has nothing to do with natural male enhancement. As far as I can tell Enzyte gives you bells palsy and the ability to drive a race car. Then there's Plan B which any heterosexual male who has attended college knows is the "morning after pill." Theoretically Plan A is birth control, Plan B is... well Plan B, Plan C would be an abortion, Plan D would be abandoning the child in a dumpster, and Plan E would be (god forbid) raising the fucking child. Sure am glad, Ma' and Pa' chose Plan E for me. There's a whole slew of medications for fat and bald men. medications which promise to help you lose weight and grow hair. These products are pure bullshit, and do you know how I know? People are still fat and bald!!! Have you been to a Radio Shack lately. Finally, and this is my favorite, there's female birth control which you should not take "if you are pregnant or may become pregnant." Every woman may become pregnant!!! That's why they're taking your product in the first place!!!

Well that felt nice. You can only keep these eschewed opinions locked up for so long. I'll be back. Keep on livin' and as always STRENGTH & HONOR.