HEADLINES

Scam-ski :
A Polish prostitute was arrested this week for owing $820,000 in taxes to the Polish government. The woman is ashamed, embarrassed, and presumably incredibly bow-legged.

Croatian Nation :
The newly elected president of Croatia was surprised last week, when he signed on to his public Facebook page only to find that he had 7,000 friend requests awaiting him. He was even more shocked when he found 10,000 responses to his Craigslist ad for a 'No Strings Attached Quickie'.

Son of an Oaf :
As reported yesterday, New York Governor David Paterson's teenage son was arrested this week for shooting craps and being in possession of a stolen debit card - officially making him the second biggest disappointment in his immediate family.

Conan O'Porno - Late Night Confessions :
TMZ is reporting that a pornography website has offered Conan O'Brien a lucrative deal to star in one of its productions. Considering, Mr. O'Brien's Irish heritage, however, the film may better qualify as a comedy.