A Sphincter Says, "What" :
A British man was given an artificial sphincter last week and his bowel movements are now controlled with a remote control. The device is a huge technological breakthrough for medicine, it does however result in quite a mess when his dog gets a hold of that remote.
White Collar, Red Stool :
Bernie Madoff required medical attention this weekend for what the press has described as "dizziness and shortness of breath" - or as inmates described it, "an ass raping."
A Case for the Ed Hardy Boys :
Controversial reality television dad, Jon Gosselin's posh Manhattan apartment was trashed and robbed this weekend while he was in Pennsylvania for the holidays. Police are seeking anyone who might have negative feelings toward Jon Gosselin, and they've already narrowed their list to everyone.
New Year's Green Eve :
The annual New Year's celebration in New York's Time Square was given an eco-friendly makeover this year. The crystal ball will be lit by LED lights, confetti will be reused, and Dick Clark will be outfitted with a recyclable diaper.
GIVES GREAT HEAD-LINES.
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