We Snortin' :
Jamaican reggae star Buju Banton, was arrested this week and charged with possession of 11 pounds of cocaine. Authorities became suspicious when they noticed that Banton didn't have a steel drum band, it was just his teeth grinding.
McWiFi :
Fast food giant McDonald's, has announced plans to offer wireless Internet to it's customers starting sometime in 2010. Good luck explaining that special sauce stain on your keyboard to your friends.
To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Barack Obama :
The press is reporting that Barack Obama has sent a personal letter to North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il in an attempt to alleviate the tension between their two nations. Not to be outdone, Joe Biden sent a singing telegram to Hugo Chavez.
The Tiger King :
Today the Associated Press named Tiger Woods "Athlete of the Decade", narrowly beating out Lance Armstrong. The two men had similar careers this decade - Armstrong overcame cancer and Woods came over cocktail waitresses.
(I apologize for two seamen jokes ... won't happen again)
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