CENTENNIAL HEADLINES

That's right guys. This is my 100th blog entry. This blog has changed a lot since I started it in early 2008, but my mission has always been the same; make you guys laugh. I've gotten a lot of positive feedback, offended a few (who I didn't like anyway), but most importantly I've had a really fun time doing it. I spend 30 minutes to an hour everyday trying to be funny, and the fact that you guys take the time to read it is really cool. Thanks, and here's to 100 more!

Nice Headlights :
A female teenager in New Zealand was hit by a car this week while flashing oncoming traffic. Luckily the young woman was not hurt, as her airbags were deployed.

Beer Flows Like Wine :
To fill the stands this past weekend, the NBA's Sacramento Kings offered a special $1 beer promotion - or as fans came to call it, a 6 month suspended license promotion.

Night Putting :
The neighbors of Tiger Woods have told the press that the troubled golfer has been seen and heard out hitting golf balls at odd times during the night. This scenario sees highly unlikely, however, as Tiger's wife has his balls in a noose.

You ARE the Father :
This week the former mistress of Senator John Edwards is expected to reveal that her child is actually his and sue him for as much as $17,000 a month in child support - or as Edwards calls that, "haircut money."

I Now Pronounce You Man and Machine :
A Japanese man legally married a female video game avatar this week. The honeymoon was going great till the man accidentally inserted his memory stick into her floppy disk drive.

Earth.0 :
NASA scientists have discovered a new planet 40 light years away that is nearly identical to Earth in size, chemical makeup, and general appearance, yet there is no sign of life. The planet has aptly been named "Frank Stallone."

Christmas Links -
24 on 34th Street
Hall and Oates
"Shitter was Full!"