HEADLINES

Give Me a Break :
To help the environment, some companies in New York City are allowing employees to ride their bikes to work and keep them in their offices and cubicles, because nothing says environmentally friendly like a wedgie in suit pants.

That's My Bush :
The New Orleans Saints star running back Reggie Bush and reality television personality Kim Kardashian amicably split this past weekend. Said the newly single star, "I have a hectic schedule in front of me; getting tackled, bruised, and thrown around on a weekly basis by guys twice my size." Reggie Bush could not be reached for comment.

Utah'lkin to Me? :
A 7 year old Mormon boy in Utah stole his parents car this weekend and led police on a scary chase to avoid going to church. The boy's wives were worried sick.

I've Got Your Number on my Ebay :
The phone number 867-5309, made famous by the 1980's Tommy Tutone hit "Jenny" is now available on Ebay to the highest bidder. The highest bidder will receive a new phone number, a great party story, and weekly weeping drunk dials from Tommy Tutone.