HEADLINES

Singin' (Naked) in the Rain :
Men in a small farm town in India have begun to send their daughters naked into their fields with plows while chanting religious hymns to appease the gods and attract much needed rainfall. While the chanting has not brought rainfall thus far, it has attracted an uncanny amount of 14 year old boys and men in overcoats.

Field of Wet Dreams :
Two drunk Iowa men were arrested this weekend for stealing 50 gallons of water from a public fire hydrant to use on their backyard slip n' slide. While no penalty has been handed down as of yet, living in Iowa may be punishment enough.

Your on Subway Camera :
The MTA has announced plans to put far more substantial video surveillance cameras in New York subway cars in an attempt to bring an end to criminal activity, so get ready to start buying your batteries at Radio Shack.

Vick Head :
The NFL officially reinstated Michael Vick yesterday after he spent 3 years in federal custody for his involvement in a dog fighting ring. While Vick still has arm strength, determination, and a high football IQ, there is no word on how his option style will be effected by the fact that he's now bow-legged.