HEADLINES

Super Zero :
Two men dressed as Superman and Batman were arrested in Time Square yesterday after causing a ruckus. Both men spent the night in jail. Lucky for them, they probably lost their virginity.

Black or White or... :
A source close to Michael Jackson said yesterday that Jackson wore his trademark single white glove to hide his skin problems. Bang up job Michael, we didn't notice a thing!!!

Load of Bull :
A man in Pamplona, Spain died yesterday in the annual Running of the Bulls. While the autopsy is not yet complete, it has been speculated that the cause of death was stupidity.

Seal-ed With a Kiss :
A Brooklyn, New York aquarium is charging $200 for attendees to visit the seal exhibit and get a kiss from a seal. For $250 they offer a flipper job. (Hey-yoooo!!)