HEADLINES

Golden Girl (on Borrowed Time) :
Following a much talked about online petition, it was reported today that 88 year old former television star Betty White is very close to inking a deal to host Saturday Night Live - so tune in for your best chance of seeing a person die on live television since the Chris Farley years.

Fare Game :
Starting on Friday New York City taxis will begin picking up multiple passengers for a single fare. The city expects gas usage to go down, difficulty getting a cab to disappear, and puking on a stranger's lap to reach record numbers.

Shadow Dancers :
A new concept restaurant in Taiwan features a moat around its exterior, almost complete darkness, and waiter service by stealth employees dressed as ninjas. They are so stealth, that you can barely tell they dipped their scrotum in your won-ton soup.

Seriously?:
A Czech based travel company is charging $200 to send your favorite stuffed animal around Europe and have its picture taken with the continent's most recognizable landmarks. For those interested it will be a good way to get that pesky teddy bear out of the house for a week to have some romantic time alone with that fluffy pillow on the shays lounge.