The Earth Was Quakin' :
A strip club in Ohio is offering lap dances for a fixed price with all proceeds going to Haitian earthquake relief. The real winner though is Mrs. Chang, the local dry cleaner specializing in men's slacks.
Here We Go Again :
The Daily News is set to run a story this week alleging several extramarital affairs of New York Governor David Paterson. In fairness to the Governor, he attempted to have an affair but ended up simply having sex with the sleeve of a woman's coat.
St Elmo's Firing Squad :
Actor Andrew McCarthy was taken hostage by an Ethiopian military sect this weekend while filming a documentary in the country. The militant's demands were simple - Weekend at Bernie's 3.
What Dat First Amendment :
Elated Saints fans are buying custom made #9 jerseys with the name "Breesus" on the back. Some people find it sacrilegious, but really what's the worst that can happen - some sort of flood of biblical proportion?
GIVES GREAT HEAD-LINES.
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