HEADLINES

No Sons in the Champagne Room :
An Indianapolis man was arrested this week after leaving his five year old son in his car while he went into a strip club. In the man's defense, he probably didn't want his son distracting his mother at work.

Fuggebaboutit :
A large group of Italian Americans in New Jersey are protesting the premiere of the new MTV series "Jersey Shore" because they feel it promotes negative Italian stereotypes. The protesters said if MTV doesn't block the airing of the show, someones going to get whacked.

Driving While Elderly, Mate :
An 81 year old Australian man got lost this week when he went out to buy a newspaper and drove 400 miles and 9 hours in the wrong direction. The man is home and well with his family, and telling his grand kids that he remembers when he had to travel 400 miles just for a newspaper.

Thank You, Come Again :
Last night President Barack Obama hosted the annual state dinner, attended by American politicians, entertainers, and world leaders. In a sign of the dire economic times, the "Guest of Honor" distinction was outsourced to the Prime Minister of India.