HEADLINES

Dubai, Dubai, Du :
A British couple were sentenced to jail time in Dubai last week after they were caught kissing in public. To make matters worse, on the man's first night in prison he was pinned down in the shower room as other inmates took turns holding his hand.

Titty City :
About two dozen women in a small Maine town marched the streets topless this weekend to protest the fact that men can be topless in public while women cannot. Someone then took the time to explain to them it's not because they are women - it's because they are fat.

Rad iPad, Tad! :
Apple made history this weekend by selling 300,000 iPads on their first day of release. Some asshole made history later in the day by being the first person to drop the iPad in a toilet while drunk texting.

Shut the Front Door :
It is expected that at sometime this week New York City doormen will go on strike to demand higher wages. They will march the streets to City Hall where unfortunately, no one will be there to open the door for them.