HEADLINES

What a Boob :
A woman in Staten Island won a civil law suit today against a plastic surgeon who botched her breast augmentation and ended up giving her four breasts. The decision couldn't have come at a worse time as the doctor was scheduled to give her husband two extra hands today.

Super Mario :
Television personality Mario Lopez announced yesterday that he and his girlfriend are expecting their first child - so there will be one more person who can't name a single accomplishment of Mario Lopez besides playing AC Slater.

Hold the Blubber :
A posh sushi restaurant in Los Angeles has come under fire for serving whale. Said a spokesman for the restaurant, "What were we supposed to do not serve the star of Precious?"

Not So Slim Pickings :
Mexican Carlos Slim topped Forbes Magazine's annual list of the richest people in the world with an amassed fortune of nearly $53.5 billion - still no word on how many lawns he had to cut to make that sort of money.