HEADLINES

The Philly Whore-Natic :
A Philadelphia woman was arrested earlier this week for prostituting herself in hopes of acquiring World Series tickets. Apparently for an extra bag of Cracker Jacks you could kiss her on the mouth.

The Divorced Boys :
80's actor Corey Feldman announced this week that he will be divorcing his wife of seven years. Said Feldman's wife, "I thought I was marrying the Corey from Lucas."

Dreg's List :
The most popular cemetery in London has announced that people will have to begin sharing grave plots with strangers due to overcrowding. "I call top bunk!" said Queen Elizabeth.

Driving While Related :
Reuters released a study this week which claims that poor driving is directly connected to genetics. So it's been confirmed, all Asian women are related.

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