HEADLINES

Ohhhhh, Canada :
Two Canadian men were injured at a zoo this weekend after being mauled by a tiger who's cage they broke into. While the motive for their actions is still unknown, all signs point to them being Canadian.

Steve McQueen Style :
A man in a Georgia jail has been detained after attempting to break out during his time in the yard, by stuffing his shirt with newspapers and jumping over the barbed wire fence, only to get stuck. There's still no word on how the jail guards foiled his plot.

T.P. O'Skidmark's :
A school in Cork, Ireland has instructed its students to begin bringing their own toilet paper to school due to budget cuts, or they can simply bring a cork.

Cariboubs :
Levi Johnston, the father of Sarah Palin's grandson has announced plans this week to pose naked in an upcoming issue of Playgirl magazine. Former Governor Palin has stated that she has no intention of seeing the photo spread unless the shoot takes place in Russia, in which case she'll see it from her house.