Tuesday, October 27, 2009

HEADLINES

Motivationality :
Former President George W. Bush gave his first motivational speech this week since leaving the White House 9 months ago. In related news, former President George W. Bush gave his last motivational speech this week.

The Perfect Crime :
A one legged person was detained in Brussels this week after being suspected of stealing a single shoe from a shoe store. It looks like Paul McCartney stopped paying his alimony.

The Children Are the Future :
Schools in the United Kingdom have begun giving career counseling to students who are only nine years old. Preliminary numbers show that we can expect a boom in 10 years of super heroes and princesses.

The Truth is Out There... And You Can't Handle It :
The government of France has declared war on the Church of Scientology. If history is any indication, the French will surrender sometime later this week.

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