HEADLINES

Disapproval Rating :
New York Governor David Paterson's most recent approval rating is reportedly at a phenomenally low 27%. In related news, David Paterson has conducted a study which found 73% of New Yorkers to be racist.

DUI to the 3rd :
A Nevada man was arrested this past weekend for his third DUI in the last 17 days; or as Billy Joel would call it, "a good month."

Test Run Away :
A Massachusetts man has been charged with kidnapping after taking a car for a test drive with salesman from the dealership and driving 1,000 miles to Wisconsin. On a positive note, the suspect loved the way the car handled.

President Puffin Stuff :
President Barack Obama said yesterday that he intends to ease the prosecution of medical marijuana sellers and users in 15 states. Celebrating the announcement were patients who rely on marijuana for a better life, believers in holistic healing, and Jimmy, the high school sophomore who scored a medical marijuana license.