HEADLINES

Lone Stars & Stripes :
A school district in Texas has apologized after displaying a United States flag which only had 43 stars. The mistake was caught by the high school's seniors who just learned counting.

Midship(WO)men :
The United States Navy has announced plans to lift the long standing ban on women in submarines. The lifting of the ban is expected to result in an influx of seamen on submarines, as well as more females.

Party Foul :
A woman in Malaysia has been sentenced to a caning after she was caught by local authorities drinking a beer. Take note sorority girls; Spring Break 2010, Malaysia might have been a bad choice.

LSDeceased :
Lucy O'Donnell, an old classmate of Julian Lennon and the inspiration behind the Beatles classic "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," has passed away at the age of 47. Funeral details will be released in the local paper in case if anyone wants to tune in, turn on, or drop out.*

*This one made me very happy. I don't care if you don't like it.