HEADLINES

Shot Heard Round the Wawa :
A Pennsylvania Civil War collector accidentally fired a 150 year old antique cannon through his neighbor's home last weekend. His neighbor, a Crusades collector, countered with a trebuchet attack.

The McVerdict is McIn :
McDonald's lost its lawsuit last week against the Thai fast food establishment McCurry's over the use of the prefix "Mc." The real loser, however, Thai people's aortic valves.

Gettin' Schooled :
Barack Obama will address the nation's youth today on the importance of education and on his belief that American students should seek to accomplish higher education goals, because someone needs to pay off the debt he created.

Young Blood :
Protesters in the UK are up in arms over an advertising campaign for a clothing line which is using partially nude photos of a 23 year old model who appears to be closer to 14 in age. The brains behind the campaign said he will gladly meet with the protesters as long as its not within 100 yards of a middle school.