HEADLINES

Drunk, Nude, and EXTREME is the Way to Live :
A Florida man was pulled over by police last night for driving his motorcycle naked and well over the legal limit. Said the Florida man, "I didn't remember my toilet moving so fast."

Teacher of the Year :
A female teacher in Illinois invited two teenage students to her home to assist her in household chores, and proceeded to pay them with alcohol, marijuana, and a bevy of prescription drugs. While the woman is expected to go to jail, her end of the year teacher evaluations are expected to rank off the charts.

PITT Stop :
The city of Pittsburgh has passed a new law which will make public urination an offense which warrants a fine of at least $500; so if you plan on peeing on the streets of Pittsburgh, it better be behind the cover of a Steel Curtain. (Stupidest joke in blog history!!!)

Hold the Malayo :
A 107 year old Malaysian woman is afraid that her recent marriage to a 37 year old Malaysian man, might not work out. In related news, a 37 year old Malaysian man just won the funniest bet ever.

Link of the Day