March 8, 2008

THIS WEEK'S NEWS:

ENTERTAINMENT

"No One Puts Cancer in the Pancreas"
Actor Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with Pancreatic Caner. For those of you not familiar with Mr. Swayze, here he is with a bengal tiger. For those of you who know me, I have made a conscious effort throughout my lifetime not to dance. This is why... dancing leads to cancer. Call me crazy now. Sure chalk it up to coincidence... but a couple years down the road when we lose Bacon and Travolta, you'll look back and say, 'That John O'Brien was onto something."

SOCIETY

"Time Square Scare"
Early Thursday morning an explosive was detonated in New York's Times Square. The authorities' only lead is that the suspect was on a bicycle... In related news, expect your Chinese food to arrive late.

POLITICS

"She's Back"
Hillary Clinton is back in the race for the Democratic Presidential nomination. I thought she was out, but Texas and Ohio got her back in it (thanks guys). I wonder what the voters in those states based their votes on? Come to think of it, I bet it was who had a bigger set of testicles.

THIS WEEK'S RAMBLING:

"Reason for My Return"
Well, I'm back, and I am going to make a conscious effort to make this a weekly blog. Funny things happen to me about every hour, and I feel like you have a right to hear about said things.

I have a new and improved blog (look there's a picture of me now!) and nothing but time on my hands. So sit back, relax, and let my soulful warbling bring you to a level of euphoria you never would've believed imaginable. As always, Strength & Honor.