March 29, 2008 (Back from Sabbatical)

THIS WEEK'S NEW:

ENTERTAINMENT

"Shake a Leg"
Heather Mills, the ex-wife of former Beatle Paul McCartney, was awarded $50 million in a divorce hearing which ended last week in London. Mills believes she deserves more, appealing to the judge and requesting $100 million. The judge told her she didn't have a leg to stand on.

"Britney's Back"
Britney Spears made her return to show business this past week when she appeared in a bit role on the television series "How I Met Your Mother." She is now returning full time to her former project, "How I Lost my Children."

POLITICS

"Governor Blues"
One day after officially being sworn in as the new Governor of New York, blind politician David Paterson admitted to having several affairs in the past. His defense, "I'm not seeing them anymore."

SPORTS

"Madness"
Last week marked the beginning of the NCAA College Basketball Tournament popularly referred to as March Madness; a tradition in which young men from far and wide sacrifice their bodies and emotions for decorations and an ultimate prize. Jim McGreevey refers to this as a "Friday Night Special."

THIS WEEK'S RAMBLING:

"The Birth of John O'Brien"
Well I didn't blog last week due to the fact that I was celebrating the 23rd anniversary of my birth. By 'celebrate' of course I mean killing my body with alcohol with those closest to me observing. I've never been to keen to birthday celebrations. I don't understand why you would be celebrated for something you have no control over. Perhaps the celebration should have been for my mother, after all she did do all the leg work.

Twenty three is an odd age. I feel like in generations past I would have made great accomplishments by now, but no. My only accomplishments are a mediocre Sean Connery impression, great chest hair, and a shitty blog. That's just the way it goes though. I've decided to make a list of things I want to accomplish before I turn 24, but at the same time, I want to make it things I can actually accomplish... Enjoy.

1) Watch 'The Karate Kid' trilogy (that Hilary Swank one doesn't count) in one sitting.
2) Streak at Yankee Stadium.
3) Grow a moustache.
4) Purchase a T-Shirt that says 'Who Wants a Moustache Ride?.'
5) Provide said moustache ride.
6) Purchase a scooter from The Scooter Store and a Hoverround and make a Van Diagram comparing the two.
7) Master the 'Free Bird' solo on guitar.
8) Master the 'Free Bird' solo on guitar hero.
9) Retire my wallabees (shoes I always wear) in a military-esque funeral ceremony.
10) Write a blog entry... (CHECK).

And I'm off...