HEADLINES

Student Groans :
An unemployed New York woman is suing her former college for $70,000, on the grounds that she was guaranteed a diploma would lead to employment. This story has inspired a man to sue the Men's Warehouse, because he didn't "like the way he looked."

Lish Lash :
A woman in Sudan has been charged with 40 lashes after being caught in public wearing trousers, an infraction labeled as "public indecency." In related news, a Sudanese woman caught wearing a skirt will be shot in the face.

The Price of Kin :
A recent study has shown that to raise a child from infancy until they are 18 will cost a family a little bit over $290,000. That is unless you're Michael Douglas, in which case that money will go towards bail alone.

Shiza Surprisa :
A rock festival in Germany has put a ban on kissing to control the spread of germs amongst festival intendees. A simple Google search, however, will show you that when it comes to Germans and the spread of germs, kissing is the very least of their problems.